


A Matter of Professionalism

by hibiren



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Banter, Childishness, Crack, Jokes, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive, Sebastian bothers Joseph about his constant teeth-brushing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5171087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibiren/pseuds/hibiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian stages a creative intervention when he thinks Joseph's teeth-brushing is getting out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter of Professionalism

The two were on their way back from lunch, and when they returned to their office Joseph quickly excused himself to the bathroom. Even if the food they’d eaten was boring, the same as usual, Joseph could still feel the remains of it against his teeth. It brought him a lot of discomfort to even think about it, so his only solution was to brush his teeth again. He’d taken to carrying around a small travel size tube of toothpaste and a tiny toothbrush with him for instances like this one.

From his pocket he pulled out the toothbrush and toothpaste and started brushing his teeth, glad to get that gritty feeling out of his mouth. He wasn’t much for strongly mint flavored things but it at least helped him feel like his mouth was clean.

Once he was done he walked back out to the office and Sebastian looked up when he walked back in, to greet his partner with a confused look.

“Bathroom?”

“Yeah.” Joseph tucked the toothbrush away in one of the drawers before Sebastian could notice and sat down at his desk, quickly going back to work.

“That’s the… third time since this morning, isn’t it? You feeling okay?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

Joseph nodded. “Just brushing my teeth,” he finally said.

“Hm. Okay, then…”

Joseph sat back down at his desk with a shrug and went back to work, occasionally taking sips of the lukewarm coffee that sat at the corner by his notebook. Now that he didn’t have that distracting feeling in his mouth it was a lot easier to concentrate on more important things. He would have gotten more work done if that awful bitter taste in his mouth from the coffee didn’t linger and cause another distraction.

“Be right back,” Joseph said again, opening the drawer to grab his toothbrush again.

“Again? Is this really necessary?” Sebastian asked, giving Joseph a look.

“Yes, Sebastian, it is.” With that Joseph left to go brush his teeth in the bathroom once again, and returned feeling much better.

When Joseph returned, Sebastian was standing by the door. “Alright, Jo, I think it’s time for intervention. This is ridiculous, don’t you think?”

“Intervention? What are you talking about?” Joseph pushed past his partner so he could go to his desk again.

“With this teeth-brushing thing. Doesn’t it seem a little OCD, even for you?”

Joseph glared back at Sebastian, offense seeping into his voice. “OCD? What? This is not OCD. I don’t have a problem. I’m just brushing my teeth.” He knew it was a habit that had gotten the better of him recently but having Sebastian calling him out on it didn’t exactly help matters. “And who are you to try to intervene on something as harmless as teeth brushing? You have a lot more problems than I do.” He turned back for a moment to jab his toothbrush in Sebastian’s direction.

“Woah, let’s not make this about me, Jo. I was just trying to make a joke.” His partner put up his hands defensively when he saw how irritated Joseph was getting, although a small smile made its way onto his face.

“You don’t joke about OCD, Seb, it’s really not funny.” Joseph crossed his arms.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Sebastian took a step closer and leaned down to look at Joseph apologetically, staring for a few seconds.

“…What?” Joseph asked after an awkward silence fell between them.

With a smirk, Sebastian yanked the toothbrush from Joseph’s hand and stepped back.

“Hey!”

“What are you going to do about it? Now you can’t brush your teeth and we can get back to work without any more distractions.”

Glaring, Joseph reached for the toothbrush. “Give it back! I need it!”

“No, you don’t. You’ve brushed your teeth, what, four times today? Twice is plenty.” Sebastian met Joseph’s gaze and shrugged. “If you want it that badly, just take it.” Without another word he slipped the toothbrush into his pants and went to go sit back down at his desk. Now Joseph had to give up. There was no way he’d give Sebastian the satisfaction of getting his hand anywhere near the other’s pants, at least not during their current ordeal.

“Sebastian! This is ridiculous! I’m trying to be professional about my oral hygiene and you’re getting in my way.”

“Oh, oral hygiene, you say? I can definitely help you with th—”

“No, Sebastian!” Joseph felt his face flush with embarrassment at his partner’s lighthearted attitude.

“But Joseph,” Sebastian pouted, “I’m not allowed to have a little fun? Not even a little?”

In response to that, Joseph fished around his desk drawer for another toothbrush. His trusty backup. It was still in the packaging, since he hadn’t needed to use it until today.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. How many of those do you have?”

“Enough.” Just to spite Sebastian he left to go brush his teeth again, this time with the new toothbrush.

When he returned, Sebastian was at his desk, twirling Joseph’s hostage toothbrush in his hands.

“You’re not going to give it back, are you?” Joseph asked with a sigh.

“Nah, probably not,” Sebastian answered.

“Keep it, then, at least I know you’ll have a reason to brush your own teeth now.”

“I do brush my teeth, Joseph, just not as often as you do.”

Joseph sat down in his chair and leaned back in it. “Right, of course. I’m sure your dentist would have a field day trying to get all of the cavities out of your mouth.”

“Only real reason I can see me having cavities for is because of you being so sweet. Right, Jo?” Sebastian winked.

“You’re awful,” Joseph said with a groan, rolling his eyes at the horribly corny comment.

“Just having fun. One of us has to be the fun one around here, after all.”

“Yeah, I guess. But right now we have work to do, and that was enough wasted time to set us back a day…”

“Great…”

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not great but it's an idea I had and it was funny at the time lol


End file.
